My Cat Monkey

For he is passionate as any lover
For he lies about, lethargic in his ways
For his fur is white, his ears and paws brown
For his eyes are blue
For his meow is keen and high
For his nose is soft and inquisitive
For he goes limp and begins to purr
For he loves to be held
For he used to want much for attention
For he used to stink
For he became too distracted by his testicles
For we had to remove them

(If you get this joke, you're either an English Major, or you've spent too much time reading archaic British lit.)